Give Me a Bite of That Apple
because I’m definitely outside the garden.
I’m out in the carb jungle and it shows.
Where can I buy fig leaves with spandex?
I know why A and E hid.
I know why I want to hide.
My pants don’t fit right, I mean,
I don’t mean to sag, that’s not how I
usually roll, but now I have a roll and
it sags and my buttocks are packing
their bags and heading northeast.
I used to have a button on my belly and
now there’s just a button hole.
I have to think about where I tie my shoes.
A short chair is best or
I come up with no air in my chest.
Hand me that apple so
I can bite it to the core.
I’ll have it bronzed and stick it
on my dash to remind me
of my core within.
Maybe an apple a day
will make my belly go away.
Help! My midsection is stretching!