>Somethin’ Sunday…Psalm 40

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Psalm 40
i waited for God
not long enough
i didn’t know I was stuck in the mud
it was dirty mud
i’ve been pumping my feet
busy keeping busy
flat out deciding not to wait
but there I was not moving
in all my agenda
i stand in the congregation and sing not
they see this and ignore
and mystery is no more
subtracted by giving my self to no one
even God
the “sure thing” I still look for
in the fray
is always a step away
i stockpile the blessings
without gratitude
and consume
and name above all names
words that go lined
but not underlined by You
my heart neither is true
i do something
i bring something
i be something
that You didn’t ask for
and i am sore
i am not ready to come
i can’t handle truths
i won’t believe the party
what happened and where
and why this blank stare
i have nothing to preach
yet preach i do
about me
and self dependant i be
so now i stopped tapping Your shoulder
and my heart is giving out
not love
just giving out
with lots of doubt
gangs and mobs and sins and guilts
curl around me
a barrier reef
grief
“But all who are hunting for you-
     oh, let them sing and be happy.
Let those who know what you’re all about
     tell the world you’re great and not quitting.
And me!  I’m a mess.  I’m nothing and have nothing:
     make something of me.
You can do it; you’ve got what it takes-
     but God, don’t put it off.”
i waited for God
not long enough
Quote from Psalm 40:16,17 The Message
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