I saw that you paced yourself
and that graced disclosure
of your ingrained past
I wondered where your shadows
would lie pared from
I didn’t care what formed you
that hourglass figure
trickled sand in foot shaped
and I prayed for the winds
to be still
so I can trace your
Photo by Iquanyin Moon, the guest photographer at One Shoot Sunday
>Beautiful, Jerry. You took the photo as a kind of love poem.
>I also read it as a love poem. One with an interesting uniformity in structure yet very free and revealing emotionally. "that hourglass figuretrickled sand in foot shaped" great imagery in that line. Smooth sound overall too. Great work, Jerry.
>the hourglass foot sprinkling footprints…lovely imagery man!
>i read it as well as a love poem, but maybe to one of your children? the past, forming them in a certain way and you pray for the wind to stop, so you can trace their steps? and that speaks of a lot of lovebtw i like your new blog layout
>the imagery, the structure, the phrases ~ i love everything about this. beautiful one shoot.
>Beautifully written and structured. The imagery is so sweet. I like the first verse better than any other, though each line conveys the magic of love.Thanks for your visit and lovely comment on my blog.Take care and keep smiling. =)
>Amen to that, a truly beautiful piece
>Wow Jerry! great piece.
>I see your heart…
>There is so much more love in the past met with slow disclosure, the gradual telling, the mystery shadows met with slow-spilling light. It would not be so sweet to know all at once, and if love be true…does the shape those shrinking shadows form really matter, standing bared before us in the pale light?Beautiful creation. The structure gives it a soft, easy flow that caresses us with your vision of love…so many can see loss, the disappearance in the sand, but you see footprints leading to romantic revelations…a sweet heart and a good pen you have, my friend.
>This is simply put, beautiful..Beautiful words, lines, intent..Mind if I tag along here?(Love the name of your blog too!!)
>Stunning… beautiful imagery blossoming from great form… Nice!
>so well structured and such beautiful image ..well done.
>so many beautifu, powerful poems. i'm humbled by the onestop poets. this one trouched me very deeply. thank you.