You Know You Have Encountered Writers When:

They sprinkle synonyms on warm buttered toast.

They brush off antonyms from their picnic sandwiches.

Their bumper sticker says “To split infinity and beyond!”

Their doormat’s inscription is Wel,.

They are emphatic about sentences being punctual.

They don’t kiss on the ellipsis.

They know the difference between an ampersand & and.

They are always in tense.

Run-on sentences get them around the writer’s block.

They hyphen-ventilate when administering syllabication.

They realize that italics aren’t descendants from Italy.

They think that conjunctivitis untreated leads to less apostrophes.

They figured out that colloquial is not a private religious school.

They wonder if No.2 pencils are second rate.

They give much thought to a prison sentence.

When they feel verbose they join Word Watchers.

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